I don't doubt that my high school self would have felt that I could have accomplished more in my 28 years. She was a know-it-all anyway. *laugh* What I am sure of is that she would have felt that I did a darn good job with the hand I was dealt and that all those life lessons, learned at a very young age, shouldn't be wasted. She and I really aren't as different as I initially thought. :-)
The purpose of this blog and this journey of honoring Army Spouses--most especially Army Wives--is to remind all of us how important being "just a wife" or "just a stay at home momma" really is. Additionally, the gals that get out there and work to make ends meet or just to get out of the house need to give themselves credit, too! What you do matters! Your husband might be the one with a chest covered in medals but you, my lovely lady, are not JUST a wife. You are what makes your soldier. You are the heartbeat of the Army--and YOU have changed my life. The following is information that is to be included in an article introducing me as Mrs. Fort Campbell America 2011. I it my sincere hope that you travel this journey along with me--the Good Lord above knows that I am like Moses wishing for an Aaron when it comes to speaking in front of people...my nerves get so powerful I shake, my tummy flip flops, my mind races and my mouth that should be speaking words goes "dum, blah, zoopie-dooper". Then I get to lay in bed at night and second guess everything, feel like a dumb-dumb, etc. BUT I want to raise awareness about how awesome Army Wives are--and REAL ONES--not just actresses that play the role on TV. (Though the show has been very fun to watch!) Ladies, please journey with me so I may show you how amazing you are--how you have blessed my life, strengthened me and allowed me to drive on when I other wise would I sunken into that pit of despair. Teach me. Show me. Tell me how to honor YOU for YOU have touched my life and it is my wish to forever imprint legacy into the tapestry of our American heritage.
Now here is the article:
Behind every strong soldier, there is a strong spouse who fights battles in the back yard, laundry room and kitchen sink while her soldier fights battles oceans away. She, sometimes he, handles the emotional roller coasters of children who do not understand why their soldier parent has gone away, manages the finances, fixes the toilet and changes the oil in the car. Handyman, accountant, counselor, house keeper, chef, launderer—she does it all and she is my inspiration, my hero and why I am honored to represent Army spouses as Mrs. Fort Campbell in the Mrs. Tennessee America pageant this November 11-13, 2011 at the Goldstrike Casino Resort in Tunica, Mississippi.
My husband, 18 year veteran SSG Robert Wise with 2-327th “No Slack”—originally thought the Mrs. America pageant system was an odd way to represent and honor the Army wives who have inspired, encouraged and strengthened my life in so many ways. After all, is a beauty pageant about anything other than beauty? Well, in 1938 the original Mrs. America pageant was held at the Palisades Amusement Park in New Jersey, and you’d be surprised to know that it wasn’t about beauty at all. Rather, the pageant was about finding the ideal home-maker—with judging based on laundry folding, table setting, flower arrangements, bed making, cooking, managing the family budget along with personality, hair style, make up and formal dress. Hmm…doesn’t take a whole lot of detective work to find out that most any Army spouse could blow all of the competition out of the water along with mechanic, plumbing, carpentry and minor electrical skills. Ask any spouse out there who has gone through a training rotation or deployment and you’ll find a strong gal capable of handling anything life throws her way. The two seemed like an ideal fit—and with the popularity of shows like “Army Wives” and “Coming Home” on Lifetime—the Mrs. America system was a perfect choice to showcase all that goes on in the life of a real life Army wife.
Having been an Army wife for over 10 years, I’ve been able to meet gals from all walks of life and experience milestones that otherwise never would have registered on life’s radar. After marrying my first husband, Mitchell, in 2001 when he was a Specialist stationed at Fort Lewis, Washington during the dawn of the Stryker, I helped to lead the FRG while 2-3 Infantry was still growing to full capacity. Unfortunately, Mitchell was a victim of a non-military related fatal incident in 2004. It was in those moments where my life was in pieces all around, that I took the lead of Army wives who had gone before me, pulled myself up by my boot straps, realized I must forge ahead and drive on for my 13 month old son and 3 year old daughter. Learning firsthand what it means to be a widow…how alone, afraid and confusing it is to figure out who you are without your husband, allowed me to have a deep reverence for the Gold star wives whose sacrifice words cannot give appropriate honor. (Ladies, I will never forget your sacrifice.)
My children and I stayed in the Fort Lewis area where I met my husband, Rob, who ironically enough was stationed with 2-3 Infantry as well. Together we have weathered countless training rotations and 2 deployments supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. Though our love, sheer stubbornness and the good Lord above have been the glue holding our family together—the Army and its numerous programs to help and support spouses, children and families certainly has helped, right along with the amazing wives who have endured incredible situations and lived to tell the tale. I wouldn’t be able to stand with strength, pride and confidence without those support programs and ladies.
So, back to…”why the pageant?” A lot of those programs I had to seek out—looking for the right person and the right question to ask, but before the journey of seeking out places for support even began, I had to gather the confidence and courage to just plain open my mouth to ask for help. I was borne into Army spouse life during the “Army of One” era where self reliance, independence, resourcefulness, etc. were the keys to survival. Not really the environment that encourages a young wife—barely 18—to open her mouth and say “I’m scared…alone…or don’t know where to go”.
After travelling down that road, I wanted to find a way to help raise awareness of all the help that is out there for Army spouses and all the avenues civilians have to choose from to help Army families. AFTB (Army Family Team Building), AFAP (Army Family Advocacy Program), ACS (Army Community Services), MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation), Armed Forces Y, CYSS (Children & Youth Services), FRG (Family Readiness Group), Survivor Outreach Services, TAPS, (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors), the Back Door Boutique, Operation Home Front, Fisher House, MFLC (Military Family Life Counseling) Daughters of the American Revolution—these are just a few of the on and off post organizations with whom I am partnering. My cup has been filled to overflowing by Army support programs and veteran spouses in the past and present. After 10 years of Army Wife hood, I feel like I can call myself a veteran spouse and am incredibly excited to pass on the love, strength and encouragement poured over me by other Army wives. Additionally, I am awestruck by the inspiring and nearly impossible stories shared by other spouses. I can’t wait to find out where else I can help and how to better represent and honor the women who have shaped the woman I am becoming.
With Love and Enthusiasm!
Ashley E. Wise
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have the strength, patience and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world." -Harriet Tubman
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